Days 76-77 of my 108 days Journey challenge to intensely appreciate life.
What do I intensely appreciate today?
This week I had a talk with two great women who are going through tough challenges. They both told me that it seems to them that everything is always going easy with me. “Really,” I thought? “So why do I suffer so much”?
And just like that, I asked the biggest question of life and living.
I got the answer to my question in two parts, many wise teachers confirm that.
1) We suffer when our thoughts torment us. When we believe our thoughts and think this is the reality; We suffer.
2) We suffer when we see the human condition, misery, injustice or feel the pain of others people and we can not accept what is.
The second reason is my biggest life challenge. This weekend I am aware of the first reason.
I am looking at my own torturing thoughts and I see where I need some light to the question.
What do I focus on at the moment?
I asked this question when I took my child to buy some shoes.
I asked when I met the rest of my family in the library.
I asked this morning when I put the laundry in the washing machine when I made pancakes for breakfast, when we visited grandma and now.
What did I discover?
I, I am ashamed to admit, I have an inner grumpy fat woman in me that can react very cranky about many things.
What do I focus on when She is around?
On everything, he doesn’t work or can be better.
Not the best way of my brain power.
I can do better.
So I do what I teach other people to do; create a conversation with that sub-personality.
It is such a great way to change our behavior or addiction. Meet aspect of ourselves in our subconscious.
You meet, get her name (Irit), talk and renegotiate.
I am going to keep an I on IRIT and help her heal and change. That will help me to notice when this kind of thinking/behaving is dominating my moment.
What do I need to intensely accept this weekend?
I need to accept that we still live in this house for a while and that I have to get one of my clearing mood to make it spacious and livable.
While I am writing this my beloved is shouting; “You have to accept that you are happy, that you know everything, that you had a good ride”
Am I intensely loyal to myself?
Yes, while honoring everybody else.
What have I learned today?
I see clearly that I need to round up this year with counting the achievements of clarity, decisions about who I am, what am I building, with whom do I work? and which projects and products I am developing. GREAT!
I Would like to keep on asking: What am I focusing on at this moment?
Next years I want to focus on consistency, result and a lot of fun. I want to enjoy it all on a new level.
A question to you: What am I focusing on at this moment?
The challenge questions are:
Try it for 7 days 
What do I intensely appreciate today?
What do I need to intensely accept about today?
Am I intensely loyal to myself? or Have I done my Meditation today?
What have I learned today?
